This morning in church I had a flashback. It wasn't just a memory that gently floats into your head. It was real; like time travel. I will get back to the flashback in a minute. There are some important elements of this story that you must understand first.
Ever since I have been old enough to speak, the one thing that has given me more joy than anything else has been music. When I open my mouth and begin to sing, any stress just falls to the floor and I suddenly get a sense of stability that I can't get from anything else in my life. Singing is not a talent that I have always had, however... back to my flashback.
The year was 2003. It was the Thanksgiving season and First Baptist Church's youth group was working on a Christmas musical. The music minister was starting to give out solos, and I wanted one more than anything. Imagine my dismay when I did not get one. The next day my mom informed me (just like any parent who loves their child who is not musically talented should) that I was not a good singer. First of all, for this I am extremely thankful. Had it not been for my mom, I could have ended up on American Idol, sounding terrible and arguing with the judges about the level of my talent. It was a harsh realization, and I was literally depressed for weeks.
I didn't know what to do. I had just been informed that the one thing in my life that I loved to do more than anything was no longer an option. So I prayed daily. "Dear Lord, I know I should be thankful for all the things that you have gifted me with, but if I could just ask for one more thing..."
I believe from the core of my being that, for whatever reason, God answered my prayer. Singing didn't come over night, and it took a ton of hard work, but over the course of the past few years a somewhat decent voice has emerged. I thank God for that. Even though I am the world's biggest screwup, I still know He is working things together for good.